Every “What am I Doing with my Life?” Moment
Me in 2013: Your success is not determined by the achievements and failures of others…but, with a curve, your grade is
Me in 2017: Your success is not determined by the achievements and failures of others…but, in most careers, your salary is
At our mandatory, 2-unit, evening, freshman, dorm-hosted, ISHP/UHP, seminar/discussion, Steven talks about the hollowness of the American Dream. He mentions picket fences, a family, a stable career, and Fight Club.
I have to admit that we all want to go home. Well…this is home. Our dorms are right upstairs. But we want to get dinner at the DC, or we want to work on assignments for other classes, or we want to disappear to whatever meet-up or extracurricular activity we’re going to. The discussion host asks us to talk about life goals, so Steven drops that on them. Other people make fun of him for it at dinner, but I think it’s a rare and valuable moment that shows both honesty and a willingness to share reflective thoughts at a time in our life that sets the course.
Fast-forward five years. My coworkers on this team are about the same age as me, but three of them just bought houses, one of them proposed, and one of them was confirmed as a future father. Meanwhile, I think I just figured out salad.
The key is to get the perfect lettuce/tomato ratio. Make sure the lettuce is sufficiently spun. From there, given that the dressing is fresh, you can improvise.
I just read a friend’s blog post, and though it’s from a few years ago I felt the need to respond. It’s not that anything about it was particularly dark, or even cynical — rather, it’s that the person who wrote it is one of the smartest and most collected people I ever met. Everyone has their moments of anxiety and stress, but one noteworthy thing she mentioned is that some people also have a tendency to keep their feelings locked inside. Though this may seem obvious to other people, it didn’t to me; I consider myself a lot more emotional than logical (will put a picture of my Myers-Briggs on the bottom, just because), so I tend to share my feelings with every person and blog possible.
I sometimes found it condescending when older people tried to give me advice, especially when they seemed just as confused as I was. A particularly bad (albeit well-intentioned) bit of advice I got was to enjoy college while I could, because life would inevitably go downhill from there. Seriously…what kind of advice is that? I can tell you right now that aspects of life after college are better than their college counterparts (as one example, you can trade difficult tasks with teammates instead of being stuck on something for two consecutive all-nighters) — but as you can probably tell from the way I’ve been writing lately, there are aspects of college that I definitely miss. There’s always something going on, and there are always opportunities to get closer to people you know. If you’re still in college, see if you can use that.
A Quick Rundown
Okay, so the minute you walk that stage…your metabolism will slow down. This is scientifically proven. There are numerous peer-reviewed articles that support my claim, so citing sources would be cumbersome.
There are these things called taxes. How you feel about them will vary depending on your income bracket, your political affiliation, and the state you live in (as long as it’s not California, you’re probably okay), but they are a thing and they do have a consequence: The amount of money you say you make is probably not the amount of money you actually make.
Speaking of politics, don’t. At work. Some people say it’s good to discuss politics in places that are polarized, especially if people are almost 50/50. I respectfully disagree.
I can now use this time to discuss other important aspects of life after college, but it seems I have conveniently run out of time.
How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.
— David Foster Wallace, The Pale King
In all seriousness, though: Everyone has moments in their lives when they wonder if they made the right choices. We all have a desire to do everything, to go everywhere, to be everyone, and yet we have to walk a single line through the endless branching possibilities of life. I hope that we all chose the right ones, but there are some things we may never know.
But we did it. We made it. And we’re still going. For what it’s worth, I’m excited to see what happens next.
And I hope that you are, too.
