MONEY IS WEIRD
I enjoyed reading Sienna Nguyen’s post about what it feels like to be two years out of college. From my point of view, this kind of post prompts a question: What does it really mean, in this day and age, to be an adult? Is adulthood really best defined as the point when we turn 18, a point that matters mostly because it’s the age when we can vote and get tattoos? Is it an imagined point of maturity? I’ve met middle-aged adults who don’t seem to quite have it figured out yet, which doesn’t worry me nearly as much as it does when I meet dozens and dozens of high school students who are more mature and wise than I will probably ever be.
The more I think about it, the more I think it goes something like this: Adulthood, in my opinion, is best defined as the point in your life when you really start to make, manage, or gain the skills necessary to acquire significant amounts of money. That sounds overly simplistic and shallow, but so am I.
So let’s continue.
Why I Think Money is Weird
Google: According to the College Board, the average cumulative student debt balance in 2017 was $26,900 for graduates of public four-year schools and $32,600 for graduates of private nonprofit four-year schools
Me: WhyGoogle: The median rent for a one-bedroom apartment in San Francisco is $3460 a month
Me: WHY.Google: Edible gold is a thing
Me: WHY?!?!?!?!?
My favorite philosopher and YouTube Channel of all time, Casually Explained, describes wealth something like this: You won’t find that it will bring you happiness, but you will find that it has the ability to quickly make things that would otherwise make you unhappy go away. I think that’s the best way to think of it. In the world of healthcare, money can mean a life (maybe it shouldn’t, but that’s a post for another day). In the world of family, money can be the difference between a home and no home. In the day-to-day life most of us know, money can fix plumbing, repair cars, and earn a pretty decent return in the stock market.
Money, to some people, is not unlike the colorful imaginary dollars in a game. Negotiation is a skill. Money is the point system. Our own skills are the things we advertise, our own brand is the thing we sell. But of course, after we play the game, there’s a little more to money than that.
I, like probably every other breathing person in the country, have a love-hate relationship with money. There’s a perceived sense of autonomy it provides: I can conceivably buy a TV antenna or a couch on Amazon (a little inside joke for those who know how badly I need both of those things), buy a plane ticket to almost anywhere in the world, or order a driver or a food delivery in minutes with the touch of a button. And there’s something captivating about money and its function. I find that I love Forbes Magazine, which isn’t a magazine about money so much as it’s a magazine about what people do with money: Interesting business ventures, extremely expensive commodities, and ridiculously over-the-top vacations. After a coworker told me I spend way too much time reading about people who take vacations that cost more than anything anywhere should, I responded that the Forbes edition cost me about $1 and I didn’t even take a vacation.
But as everyone learns at some point, materialism has its flaws. On a pessimistic day, I might describe money as a drug, a kind of medicine we keep forcing ourselves to take even after it becomes poison. A certain pastor might describe it as the metaphorical carrot we chase, a carrot that leads to nothing. But if it’s a carrot, then so is the work promotion, the long-awaited vacation, the dream home.
There’s so much to it, even as a vague concept.
Cost of Living
If there’s anything I want people to get from this post, any single thing, I want it to be this: Wherever you choose to go, factor in cost of living.
Sienna made it clear that she doesn’t think living with your parents should be stigmatized, and I agree, but moving out is still something we’re going to do at some point. When we do, and I wish I could have told myself from three years ago about this, we need to factor in cost of living.
It sounds obvious, but what I didn’t realize is that there are online calculators for it.
Choosing where to live is a big thing, and it’s kind of the question that started this whole post. What am I trying to decide right now? Whether to stay where I am, depending on what figure an apartment office gives me tomorrow morning, or move literally a block away for a significantly different price.
When it really comes down to it, I think that where we choose to live is one of the most important financial decisions of our lives. I think that over time, I’m also starting to understand why so many people are eager to buy houses: They don’t have to deal with landlords and rent increases. Also, in terms of financial gain, houses are one of the most solid investments.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a way more fun experience investing in the stock market than I’ve had trying to decide whether to move to save money. I think it’s a little bit like comparing the decision of which car to buy to the decision of how many days you can avoid taking your car into the shop before it becomes unsafe.
Money and Careers
I’m still trying to grapple with this question in my mind: What does a promotion mean, really? I like to think that in our careers, what we strive for is doing impactful work and gaining skills that are meaningful to us. And it is. It totally is. But there’s definitely something else at play.
We want more money. I don’t know if there’s any other way to put it. A promotion means a higher title, more prestige, probably more responsibility. It also means more money. And as much as I appreciate it and the idea of it, I can’t help but wonder if it’s like the dangling of a carrot, where money isn’t seen for its practical value so much as a perceived point system for measuring our worth.
Algorithms to Live By argues that everyone is exactly one rank higher than they should be, simply because that’s how promotions work out. Others talk of the corporate ladder. But this seems cynical. I suppose what it really comes down to is career growth, and people naturally want good metrics for whether or not they have, indeed, grown.
But I don’t know. Sometimes I think about it, and it makes me feel weird. We’re a company. We do monetary rewards, promotions, raises, and performance reviews.
We should be intrinsically motivated, and decide for ourselves whether or not we’ve grown. But it’s hard to do.
Millennials Don’t Crave Having Things So Much As They Crave Experiences
It’s a somewhat controversial claim, primarily rooted in this Wisecrack video. The video argues that we, more so than almost everything else, crave experiences. We’ll pay to have good experiences, and often to share these experiences for the world to see.
And it makes sense. Perhaps apps like Instagram simply represent the next iteration of wealth: The means by which we can distribute and vicariously experience videos and images designed to chronicle things that happen. The perfectly edited highlight reels, the ridiculously well-done videos…everything is a testament to experience, and the notion of perfect experiences.
I admire how easy it is to acquire new skills in this day and age. On vacation, many people don’t just want cruise ships with good food and high-quality gyms: They also want classes by top chefs, lecturers who know what they’re seeing. The desire to constantly learn and improve is perhaps the greatest thing that we, as humans, possess.
And it’s just another thing we can put a price tag on. We can pay for classes, pay for teachers, pay for equipment for whatever we want to do or learn to do. I don’t think there’s anything wrong about that. I think that one of the best things we can invest in is ourselves.
And, in this process of learning and having hobbies, we still want to experience.
Maybe that’s the point.
Closing Thoughts
Sienna’s post has wisdom and comfort, a series of points to reach a satisfying and well-earned conclusion. I wish I could find suit, but I don’t know if I can. Money is weird.
Money is the solution to, and start of all of life’s problems. Money is one of the things in this place and time that I think best contributes to our autonomy, or at least our sense of autonomy. Money defines value. Money shapes politics. Money is something fascinating to study and pleasant to have, but absolutely devastating to lose.
In our process of continuing to grow up, to age, I think that we’ll find a select few people who seem to almost transcend the grip of money. Perhaps they’ll have a lot of it. Perhaps not. But somehow, in their own process of maturation, they’ll have acknowledged the things that matter more.
And those are the people to stay close to, the ones who see beauty and value where others see nothing at all. The ones who value their relationships, their more meaningful experiences, and who in doing so recognize the essence of what it means to be alive. The ones who believe in something, who strive for something, greater than themselves and the possessions they hold.
But these people are very hard to find.
Money is, after all, weird.
